againstallODDs~

Last nite i slept at 10pm..or maybe earlier..well, there’s nutting really unusual abt dat, i juz lost my energy..a lot of it, that struggling to stay awake at 9 was considered a great achievement already.It’s not that i’ve had a very active day of cheering and jumping, which worries me realizing dis year i’m only gonna turn 20. I recalled how i spent my Anzac day holiday.it was of wrong-timing picnic and wrong-timing sleep. But it was already too late when i realize i hv to fix it!Haha..Sleeping is like a good curse.The Anzac day one, i think was one of the most high quality since i cud remember. By high quality i mean, i can sleep in lotionless skin n unbalmed lips n not b bothered by it. I can wake up just to perform my zuhur prayers n sleep again in telekung dis time. I can even sleep despite da many buzzes i received from the people i know.By now u’ll get the picture. I’m writing dis after subuh when i realized i cn’t sleep anymore.See, dats da benefit of sleeping early!u can witness da morning from ur window..I felt sorry for sum friends who already hv sleeping  problem at dis age..coz i think, sleeping is the best theraphy one can hv..n i wake up 2day, feeling prettier than yesterday
So,how’s ur ’sleeping’ story?

…it’s sunday morning,n again i decided to CANCEL my plan to jog to da beach (my cousin Along once said i’m ‘gebang’..now only i realized dat i really am.*euw*)Adil is still sleeping so i decided not to wake her up or else she’s gonna make me go to da beach haha..
Well.i’ve done a lot of thinking lately to keep me busy since The Special went sumwhere,leaving me company-less at night..n i’ve decided:
-I dun wanna write blogs ONLY when i’m sad.(dis comes after reading a girl’s blog,let’s call her HISTORY…okay,History sounded so pathetic in almost every entry.She is always complaining about everything.Her life sounded so terrible….n sumhow i realized,’Hey,my blog sounded almost like her!’ haha..) so starting from dis entry onwards,i’m gonna start writing when i’m happy too!
-I’m gonna b fair to both my blogs.(i’ve been spending too much time watching NAOMI (my other blog) grows dat i’ve neglected dis blog.If i’m Angelina Jolie,dis blog will be Shiloh and NAOMI will be Pax.)
-I wanna stop worrying about my body.
-I’m gonna make efforts to keep in touch with my friends from da past.At least 2 ppl per day.[i miss my girlfriends,i really do!it's juz dat i'm too lazy to text]
-I dun want to sleep so early at night.(If one day i slept like 2 hours earlier than others[like always]..in one year i already missed 30 days of waking hours compared to others..see,dats a lot!)Imagine sleeping for 30days…dat wud b scary..So odd!stay UP!!
-I’m gonna take my shower now before everyone wakes up so dat i can enjoy da whole 30 mins.

I do aware that ppl get tired of my ad..haha..missing thumbdrive ads everywhere.The point is,altho the thing din cost me even a penny,the value is worth an amount no money can buy.Sentimental value if u know wut i mean.That little pink thumbdrive of mine is like a pendant,i carry around my neck almost most of my waking hours.It was a present from The Special.It is in "it" i kept most of the photos of my intec years (n i dun hv any copies anywhere else since my laptop has been reformat).Many other things r in ‘it’..course resourses..assignments…argh..u get the picture!I’m pretty sure it dropped on the plane,but i’ve called MAS n they said they only found a camera on that particular flight i took from Sydney to KL on April 6th.It cud hv dropped on da bus if it was’nt on da plane…Well,maybe by now i shud juz let it go..easier said than done eh?

I was reading biology when one of my loved ones buzz me. It starts with a simple daily conversation like,how wus ur day..wut r u doing…blablabla until da conversation reach a topic on y we study…wut’s da purpose of living…wut is considered a great achievement in life….(i’m not good in elaborating,but da conversation was good….so good,it brought me to da days when i see myself walking to masjid kg baru with my nenek…i see dat little girl,praying so hard to get 5As..n it hurts me to see da kind of girl she has become)…dun get me wrong…i’m not so bad,But da point is,i’m not good either.I used to be da girl who’s goal in life was crystal clear…da girl who owns a pure heart….da girl her parents shape her to be….but dat same girl grew up..n see da world…n she starts questioning her goal..she starts exploring new areas..n she became da person she dun want herself to be when she was younger…..enuf of dat,u’ll nvr understand by reading this crap.

Da conversation went on again…it makes me think twice.Not only i’m worried for myself,i’m also concern abt dis one person in dis world whom i’ve become closer to each day….i saw courage..i saw faith..i saw hope-inside dat young boy who sat on da bench his whole life.Dat fat boy who used to be bullied…who was being punched on da belly…dat boy who was teased coz he cn’t run.  I hope he’s strong enuf to face da world. The world he questioned. The world with tasks ppl make him do. Despite evtg,I look up to him,coz i see wut others don’t. Smile you. U r never alone.I’m not perfect either.

p/s: This is considered words vomit that i must let them out before i can put myself to bed. Come back Raudhatul Akmal Husain!where hv u been?